2007 was the year that saw...

Tom Morello Eats Cahir's Dust: Jetplane Landing released third album, Backlash Cop to a hailstorm of Rage Against The Machine comparisons. NME gave it 3/10; but we stayed up all night and manged rearrange the review copy to generate the 'This Album Is The Shit' strap-line.

Your Going Home In A (Green) Ambulance: The Young Playthings made a stone cold classic debut record Who Invented Love? and bought a post WWII ambulance to tour it in; several young ladies had to be resuscitated in the aforementioned vehicle by Jors Truly after a particularly dangerous front row crush in York.

Oppenheimer - The Only Bees In Our Bonnet: Oppenheimer make staggering mainstream inroads over the year - touring the US more times than Bono has had hot dinners; soundtracking Ugly Betty; supporting They Might Be Giants and opening the NYSE on Boxing Day - 2008 is sure to contain their pivotal shot at the title.

Emo Is Dead - fightingwithwire Insert Spaces In Their Name Shocker: Cahir O'Doherty and his newly monikered Fighting With Wire co-horts engineered enough time out of Sandino's to construct Man Vs Monster. Sounds like Chris Cornell fronting Foo Fighters after a hefty dose of radiation gene therapy.

Public Services To Close: This country has gone to pot, first the railways then Public Service Broadcasting. The ' record label' (read 'the man') announced that PSB is to be put out to clement pasture in 2008. We are currently preparing the final installment of our revolutionary compilation series. Bands continue to help each other out by donating their tracks free to the movement - '07 saw notable contributions from Holy Fuck, You & The Atom Bomb and Tiger Force. Daniel absconds with the royalties.

Clone Quartet Cause UK 'Credit Crunch': Uncertainty in the sub-prime mortgage market ensued when Clone Quartet released a debut album in which the entire retail price of Well-Oiled Machine was swallowed by packaging costs. Mervyn King stated 'the repercussions of this remarkable decision will be felt by markets for many years...' Richard Branson has agreed to bail out STA on this occasion. Good lad.